From Zero to Taiwan: Visiting Your Partner's Home Country & Learning to Travel Differently

[0:00] Hello everyone and welcome back to Put the Guidebook Down, the travel podcast where we literally put the guidebook down, go off the beaten path, and get real, I mean capital R-E-A-L, and maybe covering some of the travel subjects that are a little bit more personal and a little bit more difficult to talk about. Today we are joined

[0:21] by one of my longtime best friends, Taylor, who is recently engaged to her fiancé from Taiwan, beginning her travel era, and actually went already back once, twice, I think twice, twice to Taiwan to experience the country with him, meet his family and learn about the culture and language. Hi, Taylor. Thank you for joining.

[0:45] Yeah, thanks so much for having me. I'm super excited to be here with your podcast. It's been awesome watching you create this. So great to be a part of it.

[0:54] No, thank you so much. I'm so excited to really chat with you. And again, like, congratulations. I'm so excited for you and watching you guys start building your life together. But I want to just jump in right away. How did you like Taiwan?

[1:08] Yeah, I mean, it was amazing for sure. The first time it was a huge... cultural shock for me. Growing up, I actually didn't really travel at all out of the country. My family pretty much just did road trips around the Northeast area, so I had really never ventured out beyond

[1:31] the Northeast of the United States, besides Canada, which is like so close to where I grew up. So it wasn't that far of a travel. And then I'd been to the West Coast once before, but besides that, I hadn't really had any travel experience. So I'd never been to...

[1:47] that part of the world uh it was kind of a huge jump going from nothing to that so the the cultural shock was definitely something that was interesting to experience that first time but at the same time i also immediately loved it um the people there

[2:04] Even though I can't speak, I don't speak Mandarin, I don't speak the language. People there treated me really nicely, like everyone was so friendly. And obviously it was an important experience for me to just get to meet my fiancé's family. We weren't engaged at the time.

[2:22] So I think we had been dating for two years the first time I went to Taiwan. So it was weird to, you know, date someone for two years and not get to meet their family. So that was a really cool experience for me. And yeah, like just overall, the food is amazing.

[2:37] There's so many cool cultural parts that I was really impressed with. So we can dive into more of specifics if you have any questions. But overall, it's just an amazing place. Definitely recommend it. By the way, where we visited is Taipei.

[2:53] Taipei, okay. Yeah, I love the point that you said you really just like went zero to 100. I feel like many Americans tend to start with Western Europe when they go abroad. They're like, I'm gonna go to England, you know, because they speak English. So you were like, no, we're going to Taiwan.

[3:11] Yeah, I know. I never thought it would be something that I would do. I guess it just kind of like happened that way. Also, it definitely made it a lot easier to have, you know, my fiancé like speaks the language. It definitely would have been a lot harder for me to do that as like my first

[3:25] international trip if I didn't have him. So, yeah, I guess it just kind of worked out that way.

[3:31] And you were not just, again, going back to the zero to 100, you weren't there just during a regular time in Taiwan. You were there during Chinese New Year, correct? Which is a whole other level.

[3:41] Yes. The first time I visited was for Chinese New Year. So we got to... kind of see, you know, the real like big cultural holiday there and experience all of like the street food, like all the festivals that are going on.

[3:58] I have so many like images in my mind of just all the colors there with like the lanterns and everything that goes on there. And one of my first experiences there was actually like just going to his dad's like company holiday party. Oh, wow. Which I thought was really interesting because normally at like my American family,

[4:24] company that I work for, um, our Christmas parties, it's just like you and your spouse, but like there it was like you could bring whoever you wanted from your family. So like our whole family got to go. Um, they throw like a huge party. Like I

[4:37] was so surprised with how big of party people Taiwanese people can be. Um, but it was like they really go all out for Chinese New Year. Um, so it was really cool to get to experience that tradition.

[4:50] Yeah, that's so cool. That's definitely been on my list is to go experience Chinese New Year. I just missed it when I was in Indonesia. So fingers crossed in the future. But let's take a step back. What were you expecting before you left for Taiwan? Did you do any research?

[5:10] Did you just go in like cold turkey like I do when I travel? What was the thought process there?

[5:17] Yeah, I mean, it was a little of both, I guess. One was like stuff that I had heard, obviously, from my fiancé, Will, who he had told me just, you know, he grew up there. So he tells me about what it's like. Two was a little bit of research and also,

[5:38] partially, I just wanted to go into it and experience it and not have too many preconceived notions. So partially, I didn't really know what to expect. All I knew going into it is basically that I couldn't speak the language. There was going to be a lot of good food and there was going to be a lot of good festivals.

[5:57] Also beautiful places that I had never been able to experience, that kind of like literally environmental places like hot springs and some of the mountains that we visited. So I knew some of that going into it, just like what the climate would be like, what the environment would be like.

[6:17] But I feel like it's totally different once you like visit and actually get to experience it.

[6:21] Yeah. Yeah. But going more towards your experience specifically, because you were going there with your now fiancé, what made it different to go with your fiancé versus maybe as a regular tourist? Like, were there moments where you realized you were seeing Taiwan as a tourist and maybe more on the local day-to-day level?

[6:48] Yeah, that's a great question. I think obviously having him around, like he knows all the places. I feel like I didn't really have to, you know, go to the travel guide and see all the different places. I did some of that too, but he has like his own favorite spots. One thing,

[7:08] one big thing, I guess, just about staying there is like I stayed with his family. So I literally got to stay like in a home in Taiwan instead of just staying in a random place. So I really got to experience like family dinners,

[7:23] the kind of food that they would have on day to day instead of just like going to eat out, um, which was cool. Uh, definitely helped me navigate like the MRT or the train system there, uh, which actually is like fairly simple to navigate and always felt very safe.

[7:43] Um, so anyone going to Taiwan, don't be afraid of that. Um, but yeah, I think it's really cool to, if you ever get the chance to like go with someone who's very familiar with the area or who's like lived there, they definitely have their own local favorite spots that you wouldn't necessarily know about otherwise.

[8:01] So it's a really cool experience.

[8:03] Yeah, I think that's like what stands out to me the most in terms of when we're talking about cultural travel with Kultura Travel, is more about that, as you said, getting to know what the locals prefer and the spots that they recommend, the

[8:26] day-to-day experience. I know even just being in Indonesia and living with my own family there, I got a completely different experience I probably would have never gotten if I hadn't gone with that program and I just went to Indonesia by myself. So yeah, it's just doing that and meeting a local and following them around

[8:40] is again, yeah, it's a great way to like learn how the culture is too. Um, like even just when they're interacting with other people and obviously you pick up like phrases too, language wise. Um, so it's definitely a better way to like immerse yourself in a culture if that's really what

[9:00] you're looking for.

[9:00] Yeah, I know I did an episode previously about just the art of observing and being a good observer, and I think that's really just what you said, that makes the difference between maybe a traveler versus a tourist is, as you said, is picking up on some of the expressions and making the effort to travel rather

[9:18] than just going in and speaking in like English or whatever your native language is and expecting them to know it.

[9:27] Yes. Yeah. And not like most people in Taiwan know some English, but not like enough for like a full on conversation. So it's also, that was one thing that was new for me, which probably sounds like super uncultured, but I had never like been in the spot where I was

[9:46] the person who like didn't speak the language, like no one knew how to, you know, speak to me in a full conversation besides like Will. So it was really kind of a humbling experience and also kind of cool at the same time, like almost relaxing,

[10:02] like you're just sitting there and you don't have to feel like you have to, you know, talk. And you kind of slow down when you do speak in English so that people can understand you. So you're like more particular with what you're saying,

[10:13] which is also just kind of, obviously that wasn't like the main reason I went there, but it was just kind of a cool takeaway that I had to kind of just be in that position that you wouldn't normally be.

[10:24] Yeah, I really like what you said in terms of being more humble about it. I, you know, I'm a, you know, I'm a big extrovert. I talk a lot.

[10:35] Yeah. And you also know all the languages. Well, okay.

[10:40] No, because I actually, going into my example, is I was going to say in those instances of where I was learning the local language or maybe not familiar with it, it really forced me to take a pause and like be the one to listen.

[10:54] That was really good and helped me build more of that characteristic of being more of the listener than having to be the one that does all the conversing. Talking about those cultural differences though, and language and nuances, what are everyday conversations, cultural differences there that stood out to you?

[11:16] It's honestly it was more similar than different in my mind. Like I expected it to be like totally different in every single way. Um, I would say a lot of it is like pretty similar to Western culture with exceptions of, um, just things are more emphasized maybe. So like, for example, dinner with families,

[11:40] like it's a very common thing for people to like all get together every single night and like really have that as an important family time, which obviously some families do that here too, but it was just like a more common thing to experience there. And also just like the styles of like dinner, it's

[11:57] always family style. You're always kind of like sharing, and there's like certain etiquette when you're eating. Um, like for, uh, for example at restaurants too, like no one gives you like a fork. Like you're just, you got to go with the chopsticks.

[12:13] Did you get given a fork? Uh, no, I never did, probably because I was with all of them, but maybe if I was by myself that would have been a different, amazing. Yeah. And also it's funny what they expect of you as a foreigner. His parents were actually super impressed that I knew how to use chopsticks.

[12:32] So they think no one outside of them knows how to use chopsticks. So it's pretty funny to go and see that. But another thing, I don't know if this really affects day-to-day life, but it was just something I saw. When I was there for Chinese New Year, like for holidays and just traditions in general,

[12:52] there's a lot of like luck and like superstition into their holidays. So, for example, we met his grandpa, which was also really cool. His grandpa is like 92 or something. He's such a strong guy for his age. And every time we go to visit him, he always gives us like a fruit,

[13:15] because apparently, yeah, that's like a very good omen kind of gift to give someone. And there's a lot of things like that, especially around Chinese New Year, like with the red envelopes, always gifting each other things. So that was a really interesting thing too, that like we don't do here.

[13:36] Oh, no, I like that. I haven't heard about the fruit before, but I'm gonna have to read more about that. That's fascinating.

[13:39] Yeah, I mean, he would always give us like specifically oranges, but I've heard people also do like mangoes, other fruits. Like even when you go to the markets there, there's a lot of fruits that are like extra large or extra wrapped nicely

[13:56] that you can just give as gifts, because it's like a very common thing that people do.

[14:02] Oh, so cool. I'll have to read more about this. Now, transitioning a little bit more into our deeper level and learning more about your experience, because we've been talking a little bit more on the broader scale in terms of your visit to Taiwan, culture experiences that you got because you were going with your fiancé and

[14:20] meeting his family. How did you prepare to meet his family since it was two years into the relationship before he met them in person?

[14:31] It was definitely nerve-wracking. I feel like it's normally nerve-wracking to meet someone's family, but it was especially nerve-wracking to know that I haven't met them for two years. I'm in this relationship, if they don't like me, I feel like that's a bad thing.

[14:45] Also, they speak a minimal English, so I can only talk to them in a certain capacity. I was really nervous how that was going to go. But we had calls leading up to it where I would talk to them on the phone, so they were already familiar with my voice and

[15:05] my general personality based on how I talked. And Will tried to prepare me just for how to talk to them as well, to simplify my English, like I said before. So going into it, I was trying not to like hype myself up too much and overthink it, so I kind of just like went with it.

[15:24] But honestly, like, they understand that, like, I can only speak so much. They can only speak so much back to me. But really, it was actually not even about speaking at that point. I feel like once you're in person with someone, you can kind of feel and understand what they're saying even without having to, like,

[15:43] understand what they're verbally saying. So a lot of, after I got to know his family, like a couple days in, I could pretty much like tell what they were saying based on how they were reacting. Like if they were laughing, if they were like upset.

[15:55] So I felt a connection with them in that way that I haven't been able to before, since we weren't physically together. So that was really nice. And they're all like super sweet, so it went very well.

[16:08] Made it a little bit easier.

[16:08] Yeah. Yeah. Was there a moment when you felt truly welcomed? Like one standout one, or was it just a general buildup?

[16:18] Um, it was definitely a general buildup, but there is like two moments that come to my mind. So one is, uh, the very first one was like a couple of days in, and when we had that, uh, the work party thing, there was another event.

[16:35] And then after that, his dad had come up to me and told me that like, we're so glad you're here, we're so glad you're part of our family. And that was only a couple of days in, so that made me feel really welcome. And also one of his, um,

[16:51] Will's sister-in-laws, she actually took a bunch of English classes before so she can speak to me pretty well. So we have a really good connection, and she always tells me like how, or every time I'm there, like how happy they are to have me there,

[17:09] how welcome they want me to feel. Um, so, oh, they're, yeah, they're very nice.

[17:15] That's so nice. That makes my heart smile. Now, how did experiencing his culture help you understand him better, his family better, since he did have that language barrier there?

[17:31] Yeah, it definitely made me more appreciative of him as a person, just where he came from and all of the experience that kind of led him here. I actually didn't even know that he was from Taiwan when we first met. I wouldn't have guessed it because he's lived here for a couple of years,

[17:49] so his accent is pretty, he doesn't really have one. So I would have never known that he was from Taiwan. So when he did, I was like really impressed with kind of the life that he made for himself here, but also the life that he had there, and how he still continues to have a

[18:04] relationship with his family, like when they're so far away and when the time difference is literally 12 or 13 hours, depending on the time of year. Um, and just getting to know why, like, some of his beliefs better, and some of his family's like traditions that I might not understand because it's like

[18:27] different from Western culture. So it was really like a more of a humbling experience again, and just to be able to understand him on a different level that I wasn't able to before.

[18:35] I like that, I think even just in thinking about travel as a whole, when you go into someone's country, you start to learn more about their culture and language, and then you meet someone who is from that country in a different context or environment,

[18:52] you have a little bit more understanding in terms of how, like, why they do what they do, how they present themselves, and it really helps you have maybe a better level of understanding before you actually meet. I know for at least me, being in the city, we always hear the different languages going around,

[19:10] which is why I love it linguistically. I'm like, yeah, every time I hear like Indonesian or like Russian, and I have, I talk to them, and it's like automatically like a deeper level of understanding and more to continue talking, because they're like, oh, you get me,

[19:26] I get you, like, like, yeah, you're on the same level.

[19:29] Yeah. Yeah. So more, um, interrelatability, I guess.

[19:29] Yeah, we'll make it a word.

[19:37] Yeah, we'll make it, English is difficult. But going back to your trip now, zooming out a little bit, how did this trip like shift how you see yourself as a traveler? Because this was your first big international trip. Are you

[19:54] more likely to go into the travel world, but more off the beaten path? Are you more confident in general? Like, what is it now?

[20:04] Yeah, I mean, I actually started a lot in terms of, like, travel and also just my life. So the first time that I went, like, obviously it was with him. The second time I went, I actually met him there because he was there for something else.

[20:20] And that was my first time, like, traveling alone that long of a distance. It's like a 16-hour flight from where I was. So that was definitely nerve-wracking, but like after I did that, I was like, I feel like I can do anything now. Like I made it myself.

[20:35] Like and also I was on the Taiwanese airline, so it was like the people that are the flight attendants are Taiwanese, I like, again, communicating to them in the best way that I could, like I was still able to do everything.

[20:50] So that was like a really cool experience, and it also just opened my eyes to like, wow, there's more out there. Like I said, I didn't travel much growing up, so since then I've traveled like more places in the U.S., and I actually like moved states partially because I was opened up to, you know, new

[21:07] experiences, and I started traveling within the U.S., and now I'm in a different state. I just moved like six months ago, so that definitely opened up like my personal openness to travel, and also just life in general and getting new experiences, and the value of it. Just, you wouldn't ever get those experiences if you

[21:30] don't travel or move or whatever it is. It's just, it's like something that I can't really explain that well, but you'll understand it when you do it, and you won't regret it.

[21:42] And it's like a feeling that you feel.

[21:43] Yes. Which, yeah, people say not to, you know, act on feelings, but sometimes those feelings are meant to be in some way.

[21:52] Yeah, your intuition. You got to trust your intuition. Yeah, I like it. I'm so excited for you to enter this new travel era.

[22:02] Thank you. Yeah.

[22:04] Okay, where's our trip?

[22:06] I know. It was so, yeah. Our one trip was so fun. We got to like go somewhere.

[22:11] We do. We do. You always now, you know, I'm down to always travel.

[22:16] Yes. Next on, and then also just in general, like, when we go back to Taiwan, like the next time, it makes it easier to, you know, go to some other place. So it's already opening up my mind to like, I want to go to Japan

[22:29] and like all these other places that are on that part of the world, the next time that we're back, just because it's, you might as well, like, you know, travel to a

[22:36] couple of places, add on, start building your map together.

[22:36] Places, yeah. Hey, I'm so happy. Getting ready to close out our episode, what advice would you give someone visiting their partner's home country for the first time? And what are some things you wish you knew before going through this?

[22:57] Hmm. That's a good question. I would say number one is don't be afraid. Try not to overthink things. It's going to be fine. I know it's a nerve-wracking experience, but one, you have the best opportunity possible having your partner with you. They can show you

[23:19] exactly, you know, where they grew up, what an honor it is for you to be there with them, and also to have someone by your side that, like, you trust, like, you don't have to worry about it. It's literally almost the best case scenario in my opinion. Um, so

[23:33] definitely go for it if you wanted. Do your research beforehand. Um, definitely look up like cultural norms just to make sure you know, with their family, you're not going to be disrespectful. Just thinking of, you know, to prepare yourself a little bit of what it could be like. And then something I wish I knew before

[23:57] is, I guess I didn't have to be afraid. Like, I feel like sometimes you hear preconceived notions of places, especially Taiwan, you know, there's a lot of like things in the news about them, and like people make me afraid to go there. They're

[24:11] like, are you sure you want to go there? Are you sure you want to go? And I'm like, yeah, it's fine. Like, to everyone in Taiwan, like, it's not a concern, and obviously I'm fine. So it's like people can definitely scare you into places

[24:26] as well, maybe people who are less traveled, and just don't listen to that voice and just go for what you need to do. And also just, it's okay if you don't have everything down. Like I don't speak the language, it was fine, like everyone's understanding, so don't stress yourself out over things like that either. Like it's

[24:46] okay to not know every single thing going into a situation, and you should still do it anyway.

[24:53] This is great advice. I mean, it just, this is why you're on the podcast.

[24:59] Well, thank you. I hope it's helpful to someone, and I love, like, learning about other people in this situation, so I'm like, I hope that it resonates with someone.

[25:09] Yeah, for sure. I mean, anyone listening, we hope this was inspiring and helped you if you're navigating a similar situation of maybe going to visit someone's family in another country for the first time, the anxiety, the pressure that may come with it, but you're not alone. People go through this. Just as Taylor said, go open-minded.

[25:29] It'll work out, and then you'll get more confidence out of it and an immersive cultural experience, which is what we're all about here.

[25:39] Yes, for sure. It's definitely, don't turn down the opportunity. Stay open-minded, like she said.

[25:45] Yeah. Awesome. Well, Taylor, do you have any final words, tips, tricks, advice before we close out this episode?

[25:54] Yeah, I just want to thank you for having me here. That's really all. I just am so grateful to have you as, uh, advice too. I feel like I definitely asked you a lot of things when I was traveling. So also, that's I guess one last tip, is definitely ask your traveler friend, or ask

[26:11] Kiara all your questions, and I'm sure she'll answer them. Um, but yeah, that's all. Thank you for having me.

[26:17] No, thank you so much for joining, Taylor. It's, it's been great. I'm so proud of you. I love following your story and watching you guys build your life together. So thank you. And for anyone listening, yeah, please drop us a line about your experience with traveling to your partner's host

[26:40] country and just what your experience was navigating that. And be sure to check out other episodes on our podcast and what Kultura Travel is up to, because we're building something new every day, because we're a startup.

[26:53] Yeah, you're awesome.

[26:56] But thank you, everyone. We'll see you on the next episode. Bye.